Lawn and Tree Bodge

The Bodge is part of an ongoing transformation of the garden in the home I have lived in for over 20 years. I am not a gardener, I am traditionally someone who cuts the grass only when he has to and I have had little interest over the years in gardening except from a hard landscaping component in my former business. My Partner Karen has all the green fingers (and baking skills) but has been largely confined to container, basket and window planting.

In Summer 2019 I tackled some fast- growing Leylandii trees that had slowly claimed 50% of my back garden over 20 years. I worked out a basic line through the treetops where I could cut back as much as possible yet maintain growth and keep the large sprawling mature clematis that tumbles over the trees like snow in May. It took about a couple of weeks to trim the trees, cut into manageable chunks and to chip the wood. The wood was used to generously line the driveway. I was delighted with the attractive tree line and canopy that had been created, albeit patchy.

The internet told me that ground under these trees would often be derived of nutrients, have inhospitable Ph levels and incapable of retaining enough moisture. The ground under the trees was indeed barren, barely a weed, dusty and super dry. I had few hopes of re establishing a healthy lawn but I set about watering the muck, raking stones and removing half buried old kids toys. I  took a fork to the ground, just loosening the soil in big chunks and then spiking the ground, watering and repeating that a couple of times to see what happened.

I had been reading about the great results from natural chicken manure (pellets!) and saw some organic stuff in my local store, really cheap. I bought a couple of boxes and scattered the pellets over the ground. NB the dogs think they are chicken sh*t kibble and despite my protestations ate a bunch of it. Seemingly it was enjoyable and not harmful.

After about a week of watering and occasional spiking I sowed some grass seed. I know nothing about this so I went for a reputable make which was on sale (Note: July-Sept are great times to buy grass seed on sale). Paying absolutely no attention to proper dispersion rates I covered the barren area and baldy bits of the ground until it looked somewhat even. I raked it over and watered it. It was watered a couple of times a day because we had been having a hot spell and in just over a week I had a couple of early adopters and a day later when viewed from the right angle, a green fuzz.  Ok so now it has my attention…

I ended up buying several more boxes of seed and continued to water it when dry, cut it every few days and within aa few weeks I had a lawn. Not even and lush, but beautiful in it’s patchiness and inconsistency as it struggled to establish itself. I willed it on all summer 2019 and actually by the time the growing season slowed it wasn’t half bad for a bodge job. I became parental..

I bought a few sets of cheap solar LED lights and put them in the trees. Well that was the start of another adventure. Worthy of its own write up

Over the wetter than usual winter I could do nothing but watch as the lawn was cut up badly by our dogs just being dogs doing dog stuff. We tried to barrier off the worst bits but really it had little effect.Most of the muck the dogs exposed then seemed to come into the house on their feet.

I bought a huge bag of the same grass seed as previously which I sat and looked at in the conservatory most of the winter. Envisioning a lush lawn. When the 2020 growing season started it was around or just before the commencement of the Coronavrus outbreak. I had been watching the existing grass for signs of growth and the ground to stop wanting to stop sucking the shoes off my feet.  We had a couple of warm spells, some of the grass had started growing and so I distributed more chicken shit kibble and sowed the seed. Just before a cold snap…  It just sat there, shivering… I went out each morning excited to check for growth. Nothing but disappointment and occasional muck-watering for weeks. I thought I had killed the seed in my rush to sow it.

In April however I had the lawnmower out. The first cut is a lovely moment.

As I write this in mid May, still under lock down, I am still struggling to re-establish the grass under the trees although I have been mightily distracted by much bodgery and a small matter of having to re-invent my business in the virtual space for post-Corona. Much of the patches are disappearing and with the grass growing a half inch or more a day, it’s getting cut every 3-4 days.

Enjoying this whole grass and tree parent thing has come as a bit of a surprise although under lockdown conditions I am sure that many gardens such as my own are looking better than ever and a whole new slew of gardeners arms and weatherbeaten pates exists. I used to hate the trees, now I love my trees.

My cheap set of LED lights from last year sparked off a whole new interest in what I have taken to call ‘light gardening’. “Anywhere can look like Miami at night” I’ll talk about that separately. All of my adjoining neighbours who see the trees have commented about how much they like my evening light show.

Lighted trees make me very happy